you get the love you think you deserve.

you get the love you think you deserve.

i heard that tonight, it it true? because if it is it scares me a lot.

SEX and the gay Single Man

I wish my life was more like a gay version of sex in the city.
where I go out to lunch with my 3 BFF's talk gossip about sex and drink all the while looking very current in Haute coture.
 However, my life is very different. I am alone. I do have friends but not gay friends. Al thought I do gossip and talk with my Straight friends.  drinking is always some non gay place, gay sex is rarely the topic and if i wear something other than 501's and a shirt from target im teased. such is life.
as a single bearish type. I do have some luck with men. with the help of Grinder Scruff mister Gwlr Craigs list et. al. and on occasion slammer. I get my share of Cock. Funny thing is when I get some cock It unleashes in me cock greed. I want more and more.
In a perfect world I would be in a loving relationship with a hot man who can cook. be richer and not have hair on my back.
In my Single life in Los Angeles i hang with straight friends and have occasional sex romps and then there are the few instances when FWB come in to play.
FWB or Friends with benefits is a term i use to discribe: sex with a man, more than once or twice, but have actually given them my phone # and have seen them not on a regular basis but regular enough. This excludes the time i have given out my number and the man has never called They fall under the term ASS hole.
anyway. FWB because these men are not always single or on the DL (down low) here-in- lies the challenge.
they have my phone # and I of course have their Number however I will or would never ever call them never use it. I want to have them feel that I can keep the "secret".
They all have an icon on my phone. when they call their photo pops up. sometimes it is a nude photo. sometime just the face and more often then not just a cock pic. getting that pic is another topic.
I never share these photos with friends. In my case it is easy because most of my friends of Straight.
On the chance that i should run in to these men out in public I am alwayspolite but would never think of aproaching them or making any kind of scene.
There are rules of engament:
(all thought getting engaged is not one of them) are as follows.
Do NOT be needy or demanding.
No Berating his wife or Partner.
(I also limit any conversation about them to a very short amount of time if any)
No Pet Names
NO Sulking
HAVE NO inhibitions
Let him believe he is in control.
Be 100 % in the moment when you are with him.
DO NOT FOOL yourself
SIde Bar rules:
Kissing
Kissing has always been a huge turn on for me. however decide what works for you. sometimes its the kiss that makes this tryst more intimate. Do not fool yourself into thinking he is going to leave her or him because you are a great kisser. IT is after All just a FWB relationship and you will have to make the judgement call. For me a no Kissing rule keeps it real and the sex is still great.
HAving sexual relations in your bed
again it is your call. I prefer to keep my bed for myself. Like kissing it is the one area of my place that is mine.  My secret place to share with someone who is just as commited to me as I am to him.
Let a rug burn be a passionate reminder of what an awesome FWB you are.
Spending the night.
NO! never ever do this. it is the gateway to the end of a FWB.

If any of these rules I have set are broken by myself I am certain that I will never see My FWB again.
because the sex is good I am not willing to do that. I would however drop them in a minute if I should get a boyfriend. As of now there is not a boyfriend or a potential boyfriend in site. SO For me a FWB or  a casual trick is what I am dealing with.
What or how do I refer to myself? I have rules and those rules are for my protection and his. so I am not a home wrecker. It is none of my business if he has an open relationship in his marriage or partnership.
I am not a slut or a whore there is no exchange of money. I like the word Courtesan Because Courtesans were educated and could carry on a conversation. I am an educated man. However Courtesan's are women and I am a masculine man who like other masculine men. Chevalier refers to male escort  (either sexual or non sexual ) to a female. And again I am a Man who likes the company and sex with other men.
Perhaps there doesn't need to be a name for what I do or should I say my current situation.
 I can also attest to the periods That are off limits for FWB like the holidays or my birthday.not by my choosing but by his situation. It is in those times I have great melancholy. I remind myself back to my rule of NO SULKING.
After all it is what it is and its only sex. And with a few boundries I can protect myself from a broken heart.