Thursday, September 20, 2012

ativan or no ativan

I'm a little wound up, Yet somehow I feel like I am sprialing out of control.
scared and nervous. happy and sad. My stomach sounds like it is having a thunder storm just under the skin. and all I can think to do is hide.

AT-FAULT a story of attraction.

we met on Adam4Adam.
your mouth and my cock should meet he said.

i wasn't that into it,  but some how i found my self walking down the hill to hook up.

he was aggressive in his pursuit. i was bossy in my boredom.

be naked when you answer the door i told him.
     i have a  room mate
i don't care....... be naked or it wont work.

i go to where franklin meets gower. i called him. he buzzed me in.
i don't remember the room # but now i wished i did. i knocked softly he answered the door and there he stood...... naked and a beautiful beyond my expectations.
it was then that my heart sank and cape of insecurity wrapped around me.
he smiled a crooked smile and moved in for a kiss. i kissed him back thinking i would never ever get a chance like this again. i could feel his rock hard cock press into me.walking backwards he led me to a bedroom. i lowered my self to my knees after all this is what he wanted, a blow job. what i walked down the hill to give. i started to suck his hard cock. he held a bottle of poppers under my nose and i went deeper. getting as much of his cock in my throat. he started to rub the sides of my body.

take off your shirt.
     no i said.......
come one i wanna see your naked.
     reluctantly i did.
                              i got undressed.
                                                       i stood there naked
my cock was semi hard but leaking like i had never felt it do before. we kissed as i stood above his sitting pose on his bed. i touch his nipples. another hit of poppers.
he laid back i got back on my knees to finish off this god.

i felt his hand on my head guiding me deeper on his boner.

my eyes watered and my nose began to run but i wanted in all the way inside my throat.
he groaned. another hit of poppers

he reached over me and felt my ass with his while hand reached inside my crack and touched my hole with his finger.
oh man i want that. another hit of poppers and i wanted him too.
i didn't say anything but couldn't believe he said it or felt it. i looked at him, his body
we kissed again....
 can i have it? can i take you.
with out saying anything i turned and faced my ass to him.i felt him fall to his knees and wrap his arms around me hugging me from behind. i turned my face to kiss him to taste his tongue. i felt his raging hard on in between my cheeks. his cock felt with from my spit or maybe it was precum i don't know and didn't care i wanted him so bad. i wanted him inside me. to feel his weight on top of me next to me in me anything. i dropped my hands to the floor and pushed my ass up to him. i felt his spit coat my hole. a little rubbing and he was inside me. he let out a groan. i couldn't believe he was inside and i felt no pain.
he was riding me i turned my head to look at him and he was starting into my eyes and smiled that crooked smile. he pulled out and said lets not get to carried away.
he pulled out. leaving me empty but soooooo ready for more. another hit or poppers.
i laid on his bed. HIS BED. he lifted my legs and opened up some thick lube he kept under his bed. i heard him tear open a condom. i felt relived we were going to do this safe. with my legs resting on his shoulder he leaned forward and kissed me. a long kiss and i was going to give it up let him have me anyway he wanted. he rode me turned me to my side and rode me some more. then we slid on the floor kneeling i felt him pull out. and then slide it back in. and had a hold of my shoulders and i could feel his body tense up he mumbled some made up word or spoke some language i had never heard before and he was done i felt his cock slide out for the last time.  took him in my arms and started to jack my self off . cum for me. i shot my sperm all over his beautiful chest. i kissed him again. and stood up. i helped him to is knees and he said thank you i needed that, i smiled my crooked smile and said i guess i did too. and started to get dressed. i felt the wetness on my behind...... his cum was all over me ass. in my ass. what did he do? i saw i heard him open up a condom i felt the hard rubberized cock slide into me. why am i wet? why am i sticky? what happened?. this god like creature has just shot his sperm inside me. i was stunned i looked at him i looked to see if i could see a condom on his softening cock. i didn't oh no. i said i have to go. i felt the urge to run home to clean my self up clean myself out. i didn't know this guy. in a panic i ran home sweating and panting i stripped off my clothes and tried to wash him off me, out of me. i crawled into bed cursing myself how could i be so stupid.my little voice said there was a condom. but he didn't cum into the condom he came inside me. i couldn't sleep. i got up and deleted my adam 4 adam account. i want to feel clean again what was i thinking?
he was a god.
he was into you
he looked healthy
there was a condom my little voice said to me over and over.
you're ok i said.. you are ok YOU ARE OK!....... it was just this once. there was a condom, he looked healthy, he was into you, he was a god..........a god who was into you.
his name was B&@# and he gave me HIV